오늘 처음으로 수요예배를 나갔다. 소중한 말씀은:
하나님께서는 우리에게 인내를 요구한다
인내하는것은- 오래 참는것, 나의 의지를 내려놓는것, 하나님만 바라보는것.
인내하면서 믿음을 더 키울 수 있게 해주시는 것이다.
그렇지만 인내한다는 것은 결코 쉽지않고.. "살을 깍는 아픔"이 있다.
하지만 힘들면서도 계속 붇잡고 간구하고 하나님 앞에 나아가는것이...
믿음을 넓혀간다는 사실. 잊지말자!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
LOVE
I came across this quote yesterday.
Random post, but this is =)
Thursday, January 15, 2009
sigh*
how much damage could a few seconds do??
A LOT..
goodness, if only we could turn back time 24 hours ago.
but it's alright, it's a great wonder what you can do in a modern world such as this.
because now I've ended up with a...
CLEAN SLATE! starting with a clean newer one! Thank u, and I've learned my lesson.
Hopefully, never to repeat the same mistake. Goodness- what we go through for a new computer.. this better be worth it!!!
Saturday, January 10, 2009
DECISION
God, why do you have us make decisions??
Is this a season for making decisions? I know there are many areas in our lives, no matter how minuscule, that involve our own discretion all the time. Yet I am a person that has a hard time with bigger decisions. Or at least that's what I think..
You KNOW me better than anyone else. I am utterly afraid at times to have a say. Of course not all the time.. I have a stronger opinion towards others and their lives.. but I never seem to get the courage to have an opinion for my own life.
Where? is the question.
And For What?
Time is of essence. (really)
Help me to just get moving right now. And grant me wisdom and discernment!!!
Your timing is so important. Speaking of timing.. something happened today. It is pretty funny if you think about it. But it was not funny at the time..
There was a planned get-together with family and relatives for our mom's early b-day celebration. I guess it was planned awhile back and only recently have we been reminded. So, we start reminding each other about it.. Dad alerts mom and my sister, my mom has my sister check her text message on the phone, my sister in return tells us the time and the place-- all was correct except for the date. Somehow someone in our family began to think it might be today, and then the misinformation got carried on, penetrating our own minds. And we didn't bother to recheck the dates..
So all of this miscarriage of info is taking place while we get ready for "tonight's" dinner. We wonder why none of our relatives are calling us.. but we still get ready anyways. Finally we rush to the restaurant and find out there isn't any reservation under the name! How odd. We then call up a relative who supposedly made the reservation. She says she has, and that she even got a confirmation number. We ask her if she is sure. We ask her the place and time.. which was correct. So we just stand there wondering.. until mom decides to recheck the text message with the date. "Are you serious?" That was our first reaction..
To see whether the reservation was indeed tomorrow, we get confirmation from the restaurant worker. We don't dare bother calling our relatives. It was a very very sad moment.. all of us walking out of the restaurant-- dumbfounded.. and no one to blame but ourselves.
I was personally just really exasperated and angry--I don't know why, I wasn't mad at anyone in particular. It was just my anger flaring up. (this is my bad side) Everyone else was just a bit silent. We decide to go to a nearby Indian restaurant. There we unwind and my mood gets better.
Afterwards, we decide to walk around perusing.. to fill up the 1.5 hour we put upon our parking meter. We go to get some chocolate Eunice really craved that day. Then to Barnes! There I bought a Christian book (For Women Only) that GSN suggested us to read. Cuz my parents had Barnes card, I was able to get the book for a bit less-- that little discount made me feel better. Not to mention feeling good in general cuz you buy a book for yourself!!
AHH* So though we made a stupid mistake, which could have had greater consequences if the situation was more grave.. it was an opportune time for the whole family to have a night out. But still, it was a mistake I wish we hadn't made.
I think God looks at us, shaking His head.. we busy oursevles so much that we don't even realize that we miss God's timing. Sometimes, it's an honest mistake.. but sometimes we are just purly disobedient.. following our own hearts and desires. I'm sure this happens many many times. If only we could keep still and listen, spend more quality time with Him, our lives would have much more purpose and meaning to it than what we could ever do with it. How foolish we are, thinking we KNOW all things, thinking this world is everything. GOsh, there's SOO much more to God's world.. and I am DESPERATE to know and experience that.
Philippians 3:12-14
Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
time time time
It's 3:26am and what am I doing?? "nothing much".. really "wasting my time" when I should be studying. I just finished a take-home final which i turned in, and now I should be studying for my other final that will start at 5pm tomorrow (or really today).
But you know what?? I really really don't care much about these finals. I care in the sense that I don't want grades to ruin my gpa, and I don't want all my work in class to go in the drain. Yet, I really don't give a hoot to the subject-matter of these classes. FYI, my classes are called: social theory, sociology of work, sociology of entrepreneurship, and nutritional science. I am interested in what I learn, but I get pretty sick of things early on. And studying and working on papers is really too much for me.
I wish I could be those people who can put no time and effort into homework, papers, finals and still do pretty well. But if you give me anything to do, I will just always spend hours on it.. no matter what it is. Why?? I don't know, that's just my habit of doing things. I really wonder why I even try so hard right now. This is more bad than good.
It's ok though. Cuz I've learned to put my guard down and sometimes it's not that I spend hours working intensely on things. I just take my time, and do some other things. And I was just blogging now to put my mind off from that horrid final all about innovation and entrepreneurship. Sick of it now.. why do people make a study out of it?? I just hope I can put this into use someday.. (hehe)
anyways, must sleep.
But you know what?? I really really don't care much about these finals. I care in the sense that I don't want grades to ruin my gpa, and I don't want all my work in class to go in the drain. Yet, I really don't give a hoot to the subject-matter of these classes. FYI, my classes are called: social theory, sociology of work, sociology of entrepreneurship, and nutritional science. I am interested in what I learn, but I get pretty sick of things early on. And studying and working on papers is really too much for me.
I wish I could be those people who can put no time and effort into homework, papers, finals and still do pretty well. But if you give me anything to do, I will just always spend hours on it.. no matter what it is. Why?? I don't know, that's just my habit of doing things. I really wonder why I even try so hard right now. This is more bad than good.
It's ok though. Cuz I've learned to put my guard down and sometimes it's not that I spend hours working intensely on things. I just take my time, and do some other things. And I was just blogging now to put my mind off from that horrid final all about innovation and entrepreneurship. Sick of it now.. why do people make a study out of it?? I just hope I can put this into use someday.. (hehe)
anyways, must sleep.
Monday, October 13, 2008
this world
needs God, no doubt about it.
Why? because evil is so rampant.. and we all are weak enough to become sucked into it.
Why? because evil is so rampant.. and we all are weak enough to become sucked into it.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Beginning of all things
'Tis the season.. of school!
As much as I relished at the thought of being back at school, being busy and useful, I haven't had much time to be prepared for all the drastic changes.. All is going by in such a blur at times. I've been wondering why that is.
Well, there was the death of a beloved family member: my grandfather. His name is John Vanderwerff. Grandfather John was my Dutch step-grandfather.. and I used to delight at the fact that he was my grandfather when I was little. He has been a truly beloved grandfather to me, almost like a second father. I've grown up with him and lived with him. Oh, how I miss him. How much we all realized that he was truly a blessing to all of us. I am dumbfounded at times still that he's actually gone, no longer here in this world. At the same time, I've come to accept his absence.. without much resistance or emotional toil. And I am so surprised at myself for being this way. But, I believe God called him to depart this world at His timing.
Actually, I am more at peace to know that he has gone.. not suffering from physical illness and dying anymore. Even more, I'm glad he's not in the place to worry, to fear, and to feel sadness anymore. This world is such a hard place to live.. We all need Christ, but how many of us actually realize that? And even so, how many of us actually strive our best to make our life worth it for Christ??
Even if we are physically living.. there's sheer magnitude of difference between those who are alert and alive in their spirit, and those who are dead in the spirit. Let's do our best to be alive.. truly alive and free the way God created us to be.
I have been struggling to overcome my sense of hopelessness and doubt. "Help me overcome my unbelief."Why do I have such things? I don't know exactly.. but perhaps from the spiritual dryness I've been experiencing for a prolonged period of time. There is definite dryness in norcal, and dryness within me. This is the cause of my sense of loss when we're already into the 3rd week of school. On and off, up and down.. HOWEVER, the good news is that I am being restored, and I hope and pray that I will soar on wings like eagles someday.
Regardless of where I am, what condition I'm in.. I am thankful for God's grace. Even this sense of awareness of my weak faith, I am thankful for. As I come to realize my moral failings, my weaknesses, it allows greater dependency and greater faith and desperation for God's real divine presence and power. And now the challenge for me is to seek Him at all cost and at all time.. instead of being stuck in this pitiful state of self-remorse. That is the real challenge for me.. to pick myself back up and be striving my best for him, learning to be faithful even at times of uncertainty. Please pray that I won't get tired, but that GOD would miraculously be my rest and my strength, both physically and spiritually.
As much as I relished at the thought of being back at school, being busy and useful, I haven't had much time to be prepared for all the drastic changes.. All is going by in such a blur at times. I've been wondering why that is.
Well, there was the death of a beloved family member: my grandfather. His name is John Vanderwerff. Grandfather John was my Dutch step-grandfather.. and I used to delight at the fact that he was my grandfather when I was little. He has been a truly beloved grandfather to me, almost like a second father. I've grown up with him and lived with him. Oh, how I miss him. How much we all realized that he was truly a blessing to all of us. I am dumbfounded at times still that he's actually gone, no longer here in this world. At the same time, I've come to accept his absence.. without much resistance or emotional toil. And I am so surprised at myself for being this way. But, I believe God called him to depart this world at His timing.
Actually, I am more at peace to know that he has gone.. not suffering from physical illness and dying anymore. Even more, I'm glad he's not in the place to worry, to fear, and to feel sadness anymore. This world is such a hard place to live.. We all need Christ, but how many of us actually realize that? And even so, how many of us actually strive our best to make our life worth it for Christ??
Even if we are physically living.. there's sheer magnitude of difference between those who are alert and alive in their spirit, and those who are dead in the spirit. Let's do our best to be alive.. truly alive and free the way God created us to be.
I have been struggling to overcome my sense of hopelessness and doubt. "Help me overcome my unbelief."Why do I have such things? I don't know exactly.. but perhaps from the spiritual dryness I've been experiencing for a prolonged period of time. There is definite dryness in norcal, and dryness within me. This is the cause of my sense of loss when we're already into the 3rd week of school. On and off, up and down.. HOWEVER, the good news is that I am being restored, and I hope and pray that I will soar on wings like eagles someday.
Regardless of where I am, what condition I'm in.. I am thankful for God's grace. Even this sense of awareness of my weak faith, I am thankful for. As I come to realize my moral failings, my weaknesses, it allows greater dependency and greater faith and desperation for God's real divine presence and power. And now the challenge for me is to seek Him at all cost and at all time.. instead of being stuck in this pitiful state of self-remorse. That is the real challenge for me.. to pick myself back up and be striving my best for him, learning to be faithful even at times of uncertainty. Please pray that I won't get tired, but that GOD would miraculously be my rest and my strength, both physically and spiritually.
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